Plus: Someone tried to let AI defend them in court

GM. The only thing green today is the mold on that one forgotten avocado in the bottom of the crisper drawer.

🥊 Conor McGregor launches a memecoin.

🍋 News drops: FTX creditors could lose $2.5 billion, AI defends a guy in court + more

🍍 Market flavor today

Find out more about the Fear & Greed Index here.

Crypto Market Cap: $2.49T -6.7% (24H)
Name		Price	24H	7D
	Bitcoin BTC	$78,019.50	-5.51%	-6.23%
	Ethereum ETH	$1,546.74	-11.58%	-16.02%
	XRP XRP	$1.88	-9.74%	-11.47%
	BNB BNB	$552.40	-4.70%	-8.81%

POV the internal dialogue of everyone who looked at the charts today: "don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry" 🥲

Yuup, the markets are still having a breakdown after Donald Trump's tariff announcement last week (we explained that mess here btw).

The main idea of tariffs is to make foreign products more expensive so people buy American-made stuff instead. Pretty simple.

But, major plot twist! Other countries can play this game, too. Literally who would've thought.

And it's exactly what China's doing - they UNO reverse carded a 34% tariff on US goods.

Now, the US and China are the two biggest economies in the world, and if this trade fight keeps going, it could slow down the entire global economy.

Markets HATE this kind of uncertainty.

Result: Thursday was the biggest single-day stock sell-off since 2020.

With all that happening, investors are now desperately looking to the Fed to cut interest rates.

Matter of fact, not only investors - Trump also said that this would be a “PERFECT time” for Fed Chair Jerome Powell to start cutting 'em.

But speaking at Georgetown University about the economic outlook on Friday, Powell said he’s still not ready to cut rates... because things are too uncertain.

So now everyone’s watching this week’s inflation data:

• Thursday: Consumer Price Index (aka how expensive your groceries and rent are getting);

• Friday: Producer Price Index (aka how much more it costs businesses to make stuff).

Tariffs = higher import taxes = more expensive everything. So if those numbers come in hot, Powell might have to wait even longer to lower rates.

And as for our daily dose of hopium... crypto trader Lark Davis says this whole thing could be our “new COVID crash.” You know, when everything collapsed in 2020, but then we had the biggest bull run ever.

Sooo, his advice - just survive. There’s a chance we’re heading for more short-term pain, but if Powell cuts rates, and the money printers go brrr again, Q3 and Q4 might surprise us with a rally.

Until then… stay hydrated, and maybe invest in a nice squishy stress ball.

Or five 🫠

🧃 Final sip of gains

dYdX had its moment... but it wasn't the last bonus stage in BitDegree’s $30K Season 7 Airdrop 👀

Now it’s dFusion AI dropping an extra $1,000 USDC!

All you gotta do to get a share: earn Bits by inviting friends, completing micro tasks, and doing Missions → climb the leaderboard → take the W.

So easy, BUT ☝️ you better be quick - the dFusion AI stage ends April 21.

No time to chill. Go get it before it’s gone!

🥝 Memecoin harvest

Lambo dreams funded by memes - here’s who’s driving today:

Data as of 11:20 AM EST.

Check out these memecoins and plenty more here.

🫢 BFFR

Welcome back to our favorite show: "Celebrities getting into crypto and failing"!!

Today’s guest star: Conor McGregor.

Over the weekend, the MMA legend teamed up with the Real World Gaming DAO to launch his very own memecoin called REAL.

Instead of just throwing it on a DEX and letting bots go wild, they did a sealed-bid auction, which is a type of auction where everyone submits their bids without knowing what anyone else is bidding.

After the bidding window closes, the project looks at all the bids and decides who gets how many tokens. If there’s a minimum funding goal and it's not reached, the whole thing can be canceled.

And hey, Conor was being real (get it 😏 ... yeah, I apologize) when he said he was gonna change the crypto game - he became one of the first celebrities that didn't rug!

... Because there was nothing to rug. The token never launched.

They didn’t hit their minimum raise.

The team was hoping to bring in a nice fat $3.6M, but only got about $392K during the presale (which is about 10% of their goal).

And all 668 people who joined the presale will now get refunded.

Moral of the story? Maybe - just maybe - launching a memecoin while the entire market is down bad... isn't the best knockout strategy? 🥴

🍋 News drops

🚨 Jameson Lopp from Casa is warning about Bitcoin address poisoning scams - when scammers use lookalike addresses hoping you send them BTC by mistake. He checked the blockchain and found nearly 48,000 of these transactions since mid-2023.

🪪 About 392,000 people who are owed money by FTX still haven’t started the required KYC process. If they don't do it, they could miss out on a total of $2.5B in repayments.

🦾 The White House’s AI and crypto guy, David Sacks, says the US might’ve just taken the lead in the global AI race - all thanks to Meta’s new Llama 4 model.

😮‍💨 Oof - one Ether whale took quite the L. After ETH dropped around 14% yesterday, they got liquidated and lost 67,570 ETH.

🤖 A guy in New York tried to use an AI avatar to argue his case in court. Spoiler alert: the judge wasn't amused.

🍌 Juicy memes