Plus: Your next favorite radio host is actually AI

GM. We juiced the news, sliced the charts, and garnished it with just enough sarcasm to keep it digestible. Sip responsibly.

🟠 Is Strategy gonna control Bitcoin?

🍋 News drops: the reason celebrities avoid Bitcoin, AI radio host + more

🍍 Market flavor today

Find out more about the Fear & Greed Index here.

Crypto Market Cap: $2.99T 0.58% (24H)
Name		Price	24H	7D
	Bitcoin BTC	$94,747.74	0.90%	4.27%
	Ethereum ETH	$1,816.20	2.61%	6.64%
	XRP XRP	$2.28	0.65%	5.31%
	BNB BNB	$600.76	0.05%	-1.27%
	Solana SOL	$147.73	0.90%	2.41%

Not much has changed since we last caught up on Friday - the Fear and Greed Index has been switching between Neutral and Greed, and Bitcoin's been hanging out in the $92K-$96K range.

Basically, things remain pretty chill.

There are a few reasons for the chill vibes:

• US-China trade tensions cooled off a little after Donald Trump said tariffs on Chinese goods - currently at 145% - could be reduced if a trade deal is reached;

• It was a big week for BTC ETFs - they had over $3B in inflows;

• Also helping: the Fed eased up on strict crypto rules, making it easier for Wall Street firms to invest in crypto;

• And let’s not forget - public companies keep buying (Strategy bought $1.42B worth of BTC just yesterday).

But - and there’s always a but - this week’s loaded with US macroeconomic reports, and they could mess with the market’s chill mood. Here’s what’s on the menu:

Today: CB Consumer Confidence numbers (basically asking, "Hey, how’s everyone feeling about life right now?") and March JOLTs Job data (aka, "Were there actually jobs to be had in March?").

Tomorrow: Q1 2025 GDP numbers (did the economy grow in the first months of 2025?) and March PCE Inflation data (how much more painful it got to buy everyday stuff - a stat the Fed loves).

Friday: April Jobs Report (tracking how many jobs got added, unemployment rates, how much people are getting paid, and how many hours they’re working).

Whenever we get a week stuffed with data like this, traders usually freak out a little - either they reduce risk or make bigger bets, depending on how the numbers turn out.

And since markets have already been a bit of a hot mess this April, it’s looking way more likely that everyone will play it safe.

In other words: expect Bitcoin to stay in the same ole chill range for a while.

🥝 Memecoin harvest

Their community? Two Discord mods and a dream. Their gains? Disrespectful.

Data as of 06:00 AM EST.

Check out these memecoins and plenty more here.

🟠 Strategy

Most people see Bitcoin’s supply as untouchable - 21 million coins, predictable halvings every four years. No one can mess with that.

… Well, about that....

Adam Livingston, author of The Bitcoin Age and The Great Harvest, says that Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) is rewriting Bitcoin’s scarcity.

After the 2024 halving, Bitcoin miners are producing about 450 new BTC every day - around 13.5K BTC each month.

But Strategy has been soaking up more and more of that monthly supply.

(Like we mentioned in today’s market update, they bought over 15K just yesterday - more than a whole month’s worth of mining output.)

If they keep buying 30%, 40%, or even 50%+ of all newly mined Bitcoin, they're artificially squeezing the available supply - basically, making it feel like it already got cut in half without waiting for the next real halving.

Livingston calls this a "synthetic halving" - not triggered by the Bitcoin protocol, but by relentless corporate buying.

And he says this changes a lot:

• Bitcoin could get way more expensive, faster than anyone expects;

• Lending Bitcoin would cost more;

• Borrowing Bitcoin becomes something only sovereign wealth funds, mega-corporations, or serious institutions can afford.

Livingston argues that Strategy could control the bottleneck and set the global cost of Bitcoin capital - meaning everyone could be paying higher rates simply because Saylor owns the float. Instead of Bitcoin’s natural market dynamics setting prices, a single corporate superpower would influence it through strategic hoarding.

Now, to be fair: he’s definitely right that Strategy is eating up supply like crazy, and it does feel a lot like a halving.

But saying they’ll fully control the price of Bitcoin feels like a bit of a reach.

They aren’t changing the Bitcoin code. Miners are still adding new coins at the same pace. Plus, Strategy’s spending spree depends on cheap debt, good markets, and no major competitors stepping in - none of which are guaranteed forever.

Also, they’re funding a lot of this buying with debt and equity dilution, which isn't something you can do endlessly, especially if Bitcoin’s price ever tanks.

Long-term, it’s unlikely that one company ends up completely dominating Bitcoin.

ETFs, countries, miners, DeFi apps, and corporate treasuries are all buying BTC too. Even if Strategy is a whale now, their influence could get diluted over time as Bitcoin adoption grows globally.

That said, Livingston’s main point still hits hard: Bitcoin scarcity isn’t just about the blockchain anymore. It’s about who has the balance sheet to control the float.

And right now, no one’s swinging a bigger hammer than Michael Saylor.

🍋 News drops

🤔 Why aren’t celebs getting into Bitcoin? TJ Miller says they’re just too lazy to learn about it.

🤝 Loopscale, a DeFi platform, is in talks with the hackers who stole from them. The hackers took about 5.7M USDC and 1.2K SOL from two of their vaults - and now they want 20% of it as a bounty to return the rest.

✉️ Coinbase is asking the US Office of Government Ethics to scrap a rule that blocks SEC staff from owning or using crypto. Coinbase CLO Paul Grewal said, "To regulate technology, you need to understand it. To understand technology, you need to use it."

🗣 Custodia Bank CEO Caitlin Long is calling out the Fed. She said that while they canceled four old guidelines, they left one big one: banks still can’t work directly with crypto or create stablecoins on open blockchains. Instead, the Fed favors stablecoins made by big banks in private systems.

🎙 Your fave radio host might actually be AI… and if you listen to Thy from CADA radio in Sydney, it’s not a “maybe” - she is AI.

🎉 Changelly is throwing a 10-year anniversary party with a $100K+ prize pool! Open the Changelly app, sign up or log in, get a free spin (plus another if you make a transaction), and see what you won.*

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🍌 Juicy memes